


Darling, you're a Remedy for sore eyes.

by GwiYeoWeo



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Ignis gets hit with Confusion, M/M, Prompto and Gladio get minimum screen time lmao, Status Effects, don't go picking prickly pears in the middle of nowhere kids, then things get cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:46:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GwiYeoWeo/pseuds/GwiYeoWeo
Summary: “Nurse… You're not the nurse then?”At this, Noctis smiles. “No, Ignis, I'm your boyfriend.”Ignis looks absolutely floored. His jaw drops, and he loses whatever that was left of his fine motor skills as the half-eaten cracker slips from his fingers. He turns his head to stare up at the ceiling, no longer bothered by the lights that so offended him only minutes ago, while he draws his hands together in prayer and brings his fingertips to his chin.“Boyfriend,” he whispers, absolutely enthralled by the word, in a tone full of reverence and wonder. “You'remyboyfriend? Good Shiva.”Ignis gets hit with a hilarious case of Confusion, and Noctis helps set his boyfriend back on track.





	Darling, you're a Remedy for sore eyes.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fangirlingintensifies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlingintensifies/gifts).



> For the Ignoct gift exchange, @fangirlig-intensifies :D
> 
> There’s a minor (non-canon) injury here that leads to laughs later, so I hope it’s alright ;w;
> 
> Otherwise, I hope you and everyone else enjoys!

“Alright, gentlemen, it's our last night outside of Insomnia. Any requests for a last supper?”

“Gee, Iggy. You make it sound like we're getting executed in the morning.” Prompto deadpans, his voice oozing dry sarcasm.

Ignis locks the supports into place and tests his strength on the collapsible kitchen table, while Prompto squats behind him and coaxes the embers of their campfire. The sun sets just beyond the horizon, painting the darkening skies with its last fiery hues, and Gladio and Noctis are scramming to get the tent set up before all light fades. Two of three of their lanterns are broken, due to a certain blonde's clumsiness, and they would prefer to not struggle by the light of their shoddy campfire.

“Prompto, a little hand here?” Noctis grunts out, pulling the tent this way and that as he tries to unfold the whole thing. By the way it keeps collapsing on him, he thinks Gladio might actually be sabotaging him, except he knows the man wants this tent set up just as much as he does.

“Noct, just. Six, can you stop pulling it like that? Like, just — okay, you're doing the _exact_ opposite now.” Gladio grunts out and rolls his eyes. After all this time, he'd think Noctis would get the hang of this already, with how much he's trained the Prince in wilderness survival.

“Eh, I think you guys got it handled. I'll just be over here taking care of our little fire,” Prompto hums, snapping a twig in half and feeding it into the flames.

 _“Prompto.”_ They both snap at him.

“Yikes! Okay, okay, I'm coming.”

Ignis quietly smiles to himself, enjoying the friendly banter among the three. Today will mark the end of their mini vacation, Noct's momentary getaway from all his royal duties before he's plunged back into the politics of Niflheim's proposed ceasefire. Though, this was a well-deserved break for everyone else; Prompto from his rigorous Crownsguard training, Gladio from his burden of expectations as Shield, Ignis from paperwork and duties as future advisor.

“How about a casserole? Any objections?”

“Nope.”

“Nada.”

“Go easy on the peas.”

Of course, leave it to his picky Prince to carve out the specifics. “Duly noted.”

As the rest get the tent set up, Ignis takes stock of what they have, double checking the ingredients, only to see they're running low on sweet peppers. He clicks his tongue, lightly berating himself for the oversight. But he remembers then, some peppers growing only a few paces away from the haven. It would take less than a minute, and no daemon would think to approach so close.

Noctis pokes his head out from under the tent flap and catches Ignis stepping over the outer runes. “Iggy?”

“It seems we're low on the peppers, but coincidentally there's some growing just around that patch we passed by earlier. I’m just going to fetch some.”

“Need me to come with?”

Ignis smiles, always touched by that hint of concern. As much as Noctis tries to keep up with his lazy farce, he always stands at the ready should anyone be in need of him, though he tends to downplay it as part of his whims. He still hasn’t realized Ignis knows his heart’s kindness extends far past that, and most likely Prompto and Gladio have caught on as well. They all still humor him, at least, and lightly berate him here and there whenever he makes a show of being a bratty prince.

“I'll be fine, I assure you,” Ignis says, already stepping down the stones, “But if you'd like to stand by as lookout, then by all means.”

Noctis does just that and steps over to the haven’s edge, eyes trained on Ignis’ snapped-on flashlight and remaining ever so vigilant.

Ignis takes just a few paces when he sees something pink and oddly peculiar sticking out beneath a pile of stones, and his curiosity gets the better of him. He steps over and angles his light at the rubble, and he quickly recognizes the mystery as a cactus fruit, pink and ripe for the taking. He thinks it odd for a lone cactus to be sprouting out here, and stranger still that it's fruiting; but the culinary student in him is delighted at the find. He's read of recipes and desserts all centered around prickly pears, though he never found the opportunity to try his hand at them. And as their last night out, he figures they’d make for a wonderful dessert to end on a high note.

Except, everything spirals _downward_ when he tugs at his leather gloves, making sure they're on securely lest he pricks himself on the needles, and reaches over to gingerly pluck a fruit off. When his innocent act apparently startles the cactus so much that it _jumps._ When he realizes, too late and too gravely, that this isn't a cactus.

It's a godsdamned cactuar.

The prickly green foe spirals into the air and stares him down, its pitch black eyes boring an ice-cold pit in Ignis’ stomach. He stands there, frozen in his hunched position with one hand still extended from tearing off the fruit, and he keeps still as possible as if any movement will incur the cactuar's wrath. Ignis knows of their notorious speed and reflexes; he'll get a face full of needles the moment he even twitches for his daggers.

But despite his best efforts of playing marble statue, the cactuar shifts its empty black eyes from Ignis to the stolen fruit in his hand, and he can almost see the absolute indignation that rattles the prickly creature's body. Ignis gets a face full of needles anyway.

He's vaguely aware he's falling — _backwards,_ once he feels his head hit the hard stone. He doesn't have time to register the pain or admonish himself for his folly, because really, it's his fault entirely for not picking up the cues and realizing that hey, a single cactus in the middle of nowhere with a bright pink fruit on its head is not suspicious at all.

He hears Noctis shout from behind and above, registers the blue flash of a warp strike, and feels his heart rend at the look of absolute terror marring his beautiful Prince's face. Ignis wants to murmur an apology, for bringing their final night to such an end, but his lips turn numb and his eyelids close to the heavy darkness that swallows him.

 

 

 

Noctis sits by the hospital bed, thrumming his fingers on his thigh as he tries to wait it out. The physicians told him Ignis would be perfectly fine, that the swelling would be gone with the perfect ratio of antihistamines and potion — and it did, his red chubby cheeks back to those sculpted cheekbones and defined jaw. All that's left is the wait, for Ignis to crawl back into consciousness and see if a Remedy was in due order, if he had ended up getting hit by Confusion after all.

Noctis had ridden through the adrenaline that burned through his veins, when he first caught sight of the stare-off between the cactuar and Ignis to when he rushed everyone to the car and took advantage of his crown and pushed through the driving laws and legal speed limits. They even left all their camping gear back at the haven, but they were all too scared for Ignis to really care. Now that they’re back in Insomnia, after Noctis rushed past the guards and ran straight into the medical wing with Gladio towing an unconscious Ignis right behind him, the energy rush slowly seeped out of him — until now, when he’s just an anxious pile of weary bones.

Because despite the physicians’ reassurances, Noctis still couldn't help but worry, and he's certain he's justified in his anxiety despite Prompto telling him to calm down for the fourth time in the last ten minutes. Okay, sure, the cactuar scampered off right after raining its needles on Ignis, and he even dumped a Hi-Potion on Ignis just in case. But. This was his _boyfriend._ And he panicked.

Noctis wishes he paid more attention in _Lucis Ecology: From Fauna to Flora_ back in high school, at least when they studied about cactuars, because he feels absolutely useless just sitting at Ignis’ bedside. He's still jittery too, despite the tiredness that's settling into him, so he pulls out his phone and pulls up Moogle, typing in ‘what to do if hit by cactuar needles.’

Prompto, who took the seat by the door to wait things out with Noctis when Gladio left to give a status report, sees Noctis frantically tapping and scrolling through his phone. The motions are definitely not for King's Knight, so he knows it must be Noctis freaking out again. He sighs and walks up behind Noctis and peers over his shoulder to see him looking at WebMD. Oh great, nothing like some website telling him cactuar needles induce cancer to _really_ get Noctis going. So before his gullible-but-lovable friend starts getting the wrong ideas, Prompto reaches over and plucks the phone right out of his hands.

“Hey!”

“C'mon, buddy. You heard what the doctors said, Iggy will be just fine. Just chill out for a minute and wait, or I'll go get them to strap you down in a bed too.” Prompto tuts at him, waving the phone in a gesture of disapproval.

“I _am_ chill, okay? Totally chill. Ice-cold Shiva chill.”

Prompto only shoots a look, and Noctis knows those were the words of a man who was, in all actuality, not chill. He mentally curses himself, for the not-chill idiot that he is, and makes to hopefully rectify his poor wording and assure that he really is calm, okay, he's really fine and not at all freaking out over Ignis, when he catches a low groan and a rustle of clothes and blankets.

Noctis snaps his neck around so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. Prompto takes the cue to fetch the nurse, figuring his friend could use the time to reassure himself that Ignis is perfectly fine. “See? Told you Iggy would be okay. I'll be back in a sec,” he says, patting Noctis on the shoulder before heading out.

Noctis gives a noncommittal hum, too focused on Ignis who's slowly returning to the waking world. He takes one of Ignis’ hands into his, watching and waiting for the moment he sees those sweet green eyes.

Ignis takes a moment, but when he _finally_ opens his eyelids, he does so with monumentous effort. He wears the expression of a man who looks so personally offended that the lights are on, despite the half-conscious gaze staring blankly at the ceiling. Noctis has never seen that sort of look on Ignis face, but the way he looks so… Grouchy and out of touch is actually kinda cute and funny. He looks like a petulant brat about to throw a tantrum for not having his Ebony fix of the day.

Noctis lets Ignis gather his bearings, having his own anxieties finally cowed by the man's awakening, and only holds his hand in silence until he slowly turns his head to look at Noctis. Ignis furrows his brows, and he works his lips and jaw as he tries to remember how to speak again.

Noctis already knows the question on his mind, so he answers without needing to hear it. “We're back at the Citadel, in the med wing. You got hit by some cactuar needles.” He makes sure to leave out the part where they had to cut their trip short and the fact he broke some driving laws on the way back to Insomnia. He didn't need to stack on guilt on Ignis’ sore shoulders, and neither did he want a lecture on road safety.

Prompto returns, a pack of crackers in one hand with the other holding a water bottle to his lips, when Ignis’ face splits into the most ridiculously goofy smile any of them has ever seen him wear, and he drops the carpet bomb on them with his seemingly innocent question.

“Did the doctor send you?” Ignis slurs, “Because you, my dear, are a Remedy for sore eyes.”

Behind him, Noctis hears Prompto spit out his water as he desperately tries to cough air back into his lungs. He can only share the same sentiment because —

“Holy shit, is he hitting on you? While he's Confused?” Prompto rasps, thumping a fist into his chest. _“And a pun?!”_

Noctis barely nods, his mind not quite believing what he's seeing and hearing. Because Ignis looks absolutely hammered, and not even two bottles of wine was able to get him looking _this_ drunk, and damn it, Iggy's love for puns apparently outweighed his love for his boyfriend since he'll remember his way around words but not the Prince of Lucis. Noctis doesn't feel bitter about it but only because despite his scrambled up memory, Ignis has the gall to still flirt with him.

Ignis, perhaps impatient by the lack of reply, presses on, his voice coated thick with sleep but eyes filled with lovesick adoration. “You are the most fetching man I've seen in all my life.”

Noctis feels a warmth in both his heart and in his cheeks, and he lifts a hand to hide his embarrassed smile. Okay, sure they'd flirt with each other, pass comments of silly affection in between, but this was… This was different, and his heart was _not_ prepared for this sort of cutesy-cheesy outcome.

Prompto, however, leaps at the opportunity. He dumps the pack of crackers in Noctis’ lap and immediately pulls out the phone he confiscated from Noctis. “Okay, so, the nurse said they're getting the Remedy” — he easily picks the pattern on Noctis’ lockscreen and swipes to the camera function — “But they want him to eat something first or it's gonna upset his stomach but _ohmygod_ I need all this on video.”

Noctis doesn't ask him how or why he knows the correct pattern to unlock his phone, so instead he picks at the crackers and tears it open.

Meanwhile, Ignis is adorably stubborn and suddenly very sad Noctis had to take his hand away to open the plastic wrapping. His hand twitches, and he tries to chase after the prince's hold, but all he manages to do is to let his wrist fall limply against the bed railing. His charming smile is replaced by something smaller, and his eyes seem to be a bit brighter with wakefulness, but the Confusion still has his him a touch away from reality. Apparently accepting the loss, he returns to his wooing. “Are you perhaps a model? Who are you?”

Noctis actually answers this time, trying to keep his own amusement and smile under check. “I'm Noctis. How're you feeling, Ignis? Think you can eat some crackers?” He takes Ignis’ hand and presses one in between his fingers.

Except, this one skilled and dexterous assassin who could twirl and catch his daggers midair all while blindfolded, has an insanely difficult time trying to navigate the cracker to his lips. After failing his second attempt, Ignis squints at the snack, peering at it suspiciously as though it may bite him, and his unsteady hand probably isn't it making his inspection any easier, swaying it back and forth before he can get a real good look at it. He glances back to Noctis, as if seeking approval and reassurance — Noctis nods and gently guides the hand toward Ignis’ lips — before finally taking a nibble at the cracker.

“Ow.”

Ignis chews impossibly slow, then another, _“Ow.”_ He stares at the cracker rather begrudgingly. “I don't believe this agrees with me,” he groans.

Noctis isn't sure how eating the cracker really hurts, and he's more positive it's only because Ignis is really out of it. He tries not to laugh at the absurdity of all this, but each passing second only makes it harder. “Sorry, Ignis, but the nurse said you need to eat it,” he says, surprisingly composed. He hears Prompto snicker from behind him.

“Nurse… You're not the nurse then?”

At this, Noctis smiles. “No, Ignis, I'm your boyfriend.”

Ignis looks absolutely _floored._ His jaw drops, and he loses whatever that was left of his fine motor skills as the half-eaten cracker slips from his fingers. He turns his head to stare up at the ceiling, no longer bothered by the lights that so offended him only minutes ago, while he draws his hands together in prayer and brings his fingertips to his chin.

“Boyfriend,” he whispers, absolutely enthralled by the word, in a tone full of reverence and wonder. “You're _my_ boyfriend? Good Shiva.”

Ignis stares at the ceiling for a while longer, as if the stucco ceiling held all the answers to the universe. Noctis takes the opportunity to gently pry Ignis hands apart and give him a new cracker. He munches on it successfully — and without any apparent pain, probably too euphoric from his newfound knowledge.

“My boyfriend…” he whispers in awe, between his small bites. Ignis looks away from the ceiling to gaze upon Noctis like a fool drunk on love and asks, “For how long?”

To be exact, Noctis would say two years of “official” boyfriend status, though the feelings had been mutual for far longer. It had only been the King's gentle assurances and his friends’ prodding and meddling to get them finally tied together. He wants to tell him the whole story, how they were childhood friends who practically grew up together, but he thinks Ignis’ mind would explode, given how well he’s reacted thus far. Noctis skirts the question and directs the cracker back to Ignis’ mouth.

“Just eat the cracker, Iggy.”

“Iggy? My name is… Oh. Do we perhaps have pet names for each other? How lovely. I'm quite fond of Iggy. What do I call you?” he says, completely ignoring the cracker now.

“Noct.”

“Ah, Noct. Hello, Noct.”

“Hi, Iggy. Now c'mon and eat your cracker.”

Ignis sighs and looks pathetically forlorn at the saltine, but he brings it back to his lips and takes a small nibble. It looks as if it takes all his concentration to remember how to chew — concentration that he'd rather spend on looking at his boyfriend. It might be why he seems so sad to eat, and the only reason he does so is because Noctis asked him to.

“It's… It's difficult, darling. Can I call you darling?”

“Sure you can, Specs.” Noctis hands him another cracker.

“Specs?”

“Another pet name.”

“Another!” His hand flies to his heart, the same hand that held the cracker, which flings across the room when he forgot to keep his fingers on it. “Another pet name. What a lucky man I must be. I quite love it. I quite love _you._ May I say that? That I love you?”

“Yeah, you can.” Noctis can barely keep the smile that splits across his own face. “I love you too, Specs.”

Their friend circle of four were all struck with Confusion before — at least once. At Cor's instruction, they had been called to meet in the training room, to be hit with the status ailment in a controlled environment; so they each would know how it felt, and how to act and prepare should their comrade fall to it. But Ignis never acted like this, nor did Noctis hear or read of a Confusion that had such an effect. But it’d be great, he thinks, if all Confusion cases went like this.

“Oh, Noct.” Ignis coos, and he looks upon Noctis like an utter dream.

“C’mon, cracker.”

“I can’t quite…” Ignis huffs and looks away from the cracker — yet again — and squints his eyes at Noctis, dropping the snack to curl his fingers and beckon the other. “Come closer, darling, let me see your face.” When Noctis obliges, he sucks in a sharp breath and softly brushes his crumb-y fingers along Noctis’ cheeks. “Six, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous.”

Ignis makes to cup both his hands on Noctis’ cheeks, but his other hand doesn't agree with him and instead flounders on his stomach. He doesn't seem to care, however, and continues to stare into Noctis’ eyes. Noctis remembers, during a cozy date at his apartment with some wine shared between them, when Ignis had started spouting cheesy romantic lines at him. How his deep blue eyes were akin to the Lucian nights, with its shining stars and wall of magic, that Ignis could simply gaze into the prince’s eyes for hours if he ever wanted to stargaze. He knows now, with the absolute reverence and wonder Ignis looks upon him with, that he wasn’t kidding.

Noctis, however, almost wants to choke, given how thick the love that's plastered in Ignis’ gaze, so heavy that he might just suffocate from the weight of it.

“And we’re dating?” Ignis whispers to himself, questioning the reality that his addled mind can’t quite grasp. “Marvelous.”

“Yep, you even got me a ring.” Noctis takes a deep breath, trying to keep his head on straight, and holds up his left hand, flaunting the promise ring wrapped around his finger — a simple black band with a thinner line of silver cutting around the middle. Ignis — the Not Confused Ignis — had known anything remotely close to the Lucii Ring would only bring terrible reminders, had known to steer away from fine jewels and precious stones.

Current Ignis, understandably, forgot all about it.

“A ring! A ring,” Ignis gasps, immediately reaching for Noctis’ hand, “Let me — oh. My, I must be very fond of you.” He runs his thumb over the smooth onyx, the physical touch doing nothing to jostle his memory. He did, however, look somewhat smug, perhaps satisfied in knowing he had good tastes.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. I’m pretty fond of you too, y’know.” Noctis nods his head toward Ignis’ hand, glancing at the similar green tungsten ring sitting on his finger.

The gesture went entirely unnoticed, with Ignis too occupied with the return of affectionate words. “Oh, Noct. I —”

“So! I’ve got one extra special Remedy ready for Scientia here. Did he eat his crackers?”

Noctis doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed when he turns his head around to see the nurse walk in, carrying a small bottle and a bright smile on his lips. On one hand, thank the gods because he didn’t know how much longer he could suffer through the embarrassing love flutters in his chest before his face turned red. On the other hand, it was, in all honesty, a bit endearing to see Ignis so… disjointed and stupid in love.

“Um. Sorta,” Noctis says, lifting the half empty packet of crackers. At best, Ignis probably only ate three, considering the half-eaten and crumbled up crackers scattered across the bed — and the one flung across the room, no doubt in a sad and shattered shape.

“Well, that’s good enough, but we might want to try getting him to eat a few more after this Remedy.”

Noctis nods, gaze following the nurse until he crossed in front of Prompto. Who still held the phone in his hand. Who probably —

“Were you recording _this whole time?”_

From behind the phone, Prompto only smiles and offers a thumbs up.

Noctis, for all the time he’s spent with his best friend, realizes he should have expected as much. It’s no wonder Prompto was oddly quiet the entire time, aside from the few quiet snickers Noctis managed to catch, instead of his backseat commentary and stomach-busting laughter.

“Wait a minute.” Noctis rises from his seat, barely managing to ignore Ignis’ disheartening whines at being left behind by his boyfriend. He turns his eyes to Ignis and bribes him with a “Drink the Remedy — all of it — and I’ll give you a kiss, okay?” which does wonders to settle him down, even has him grabbing for the bottle the nurse hands him.

Noctis circles around Prompto and looks just behind his shoulder, peering at the screen of his phone, and yep, that’s a video still recording.

“Instagram?”

“Nah, man, straight to YouTube.”

Noctis levels a _look_ at Prompto.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Geez, I’m not that evil. Just saving it for later, show it to Gladio when he gets back. And,” Prompto looks over to Ignis, who’s trying his hardest to chug the Remedy down, “to Iggy when he gets all his marbles back in his bag.”

“How embarrassed do you think he’ll be?”

“Five bucks he’s gonna turn red like a Lucian tomato.”

“Deal.”

 

 

Ignis hides his face behind his hands, after having pausing the video halfway through and dropping the phone in his lap. Gladio has no qualms with picking it right back up, tapping play, and continuing on with his obnoxious roars of laughter.

“There, there.” Noctis sympathetically pats Ignis’ back with one hand, while he uses his other to fish the promised money in his back pocket and hand it over to Prompto's greedy fingers.

He presses a chaste kiss to Ignis’ temple, and offers a comforting smile when the other peers through the slits in between his fingers to glance up at Noct.

“I promised you a kiss for drinking that Remedy,” Noctis says, answering the silent question in Ignis’ eyes.

The dear man only buries his head deeper into his hands, groaning at the reminder of his earlier delirium. “Please, if you truly love me, you won't remind me.” But a beat later, he picks his head up. “Also,” he says, reaching over and pulling their foreheads close, “I think I deserve an extra for drinking that horrid thing.” Ignis slots their lips together, tilting his head to the side and claiming his proper reward. And when he pulls back just in time to see Noctis run his tongue over his own lips and scrunch his face up at the bitter remnants of the Remedy, it at least lessens the blows on his pride.

**Author's Note:**

> And in case this seems familiar, you're right! Here's that one viral video lol
> 
> https://youtu.be/DiviQfLyQX4


End file.
